I'm bummed... I'm still hoping to get a decent, well-paying job in Georgia. I wish that I had accepted the position to teach in the Republic of Georgia! That would have been so amazing! But, unfortunately, my mother is very mentally ill. I guess that I would not be able to leave too easily if I had accepted the position. DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL.
I feel like there is always something going wrong in my life that stops me from being as happy as I would like to be. I don't know why my mother is going through this mental illness. It seems that she had a major mental break. I wonder what happened to her in New York? I know that she was dealing with difficult colleagues, but my mother kind of created that situation herself. She could have made plans to return to work in Georgia. I just thought this week that she could have been a school nurse. Though, I suppose that she thought such a position beneath her greater abilities. I hate this... why do I always have to deal with being so bloody responsible? I barely have fun while living abroad and now my mother apparently has extensive damage to her brain, which is affecting all her brain functions. She will probably need surgery on her brain, which I shudder to consider. She was productive, but I think she's lost some abilities. I wonder if she shall have them ever again?
I feel that I'm ruining her ability to get better, but she refuses to take some or all of her medication. I think she must be given everything. She's a bit like a child. This is the most depressing situation that I have EVER dealt with in my entire life. I can't believe that this is happening to my mother. What the hell! Well, the best thing that can happen to me is that I get a decently well paying job that will allow me to pay the mortgage on the house and still put away some money for the future and pay off student loans.
I posted a letter to apply for Medicaid for the whole family. We should have applied for that ages ago! I don't know what my mom and Carl were thinking, because we have no health insurance. I think that I had some under my mom, but only until I reached the age of 26 or so. I can't remember. I guess that mom had me and Andrew secure with health insurance, but she didn't always perfectly explain that to us. At least now I know how to apply for Medicaid and now food stamps.
Until next time. I guess that I should not complain about Georgia, since the pay was going to be quite little anyway.
I feel like there is always something going wrong in my life that stops me from being as happy as I would like to be. I don't know why my mother is going through this mental illness. It seems that she had a major mental break. I wonder what happened to her in New York? I know that she was dealing with difficult colleagues, but my mother kind of created that situation herself. She could have made plans to return to work in Georgia. I just thought this week that she could have been a school nurse. Though, I suppose that she thought such a position beneath her greater abilities. I hate this... why do I always have to deal with being so bloody responsible? I barely have fun while living abroad and now my mother apparently has extensive damage to her brain, which is affecting all her brain functions. She will probably need surgery on her brain, which I shudder to consider. She was productive, but I think she's lost some abilities. I wonder if she shall have them ever again?
I feel that I'm ruining her ability to get better, but she refuses to take some or all of her medication. I think she must be given everything. She's a bit like a child. This is the most depressing situation that I have EVER dealt with in my entire life. I can't believe that this is happening to my mother. What the hell! Well, the best thing that can happen to me is that I get a decently well paying job that will allow me to pay the mortgage on the house and still put away some money for the future and pay off student loans.
I posted a letter to apply for Medicaid for the whole family. We should have applied for that ages ago! I don't know what my mom and Carl were thinking, because we have no health insurance. I think that I had some under my mom, but only until I reached the age of 26 or so. I can't remember. I guess that mom had me and Andrew secure with health insurance, but she didn't always perfectly explain that to us. At least now I know how to apply for Medicaid and now food stamps.
Until next time. I guess that I should not complain about Georgia, since the pay was going to be quite little anyway.
Hey Aaron, I was googling blogs about Martinique and just found yours! I'm very sorry to hear about your mother. Mental illness is very difficult to deal with but you should never blame yourself. You're doing a noble thing staying and helping with your mom - those opportunities abroad will always be there. You have a good heart and you wouldn't have felt good about having left. No matter what the problem, or how you feel, you have to look at your family through loving eyes. I wish you all the best, Aaron. Things will work out the best and no need to worry - we are always exactly where we're supposed to be.
ReplyDeleteBless.
Hey Alyssa,
Deletethanks for your kind words. I've been struggling between my ideals and my reality since I got back home.
I really hope that my mom will be fit enough to start working this fall or winter.
I'm looking for work in the meantime. I still have greater career ambitions though; I passed the Foreign Service Officer Test so I'm waiting for September to see if I pass to the third step.
I also applied to take the United Nations exam for the Young Professionals Program. So, I'm giving up, no matter how bad things seem.
What are you up to?