Thursday, November 28, 2013

Am I using mom as an excuse to not live my own life?

Hey,

a friend of mine, Ayeshah Dean, said that I was using my mother to excuse myself from living my own life.  I think that she's right, but I have a VERY just cause.  My mother really does need my help.  I also don't want to hand off her needs unto other family members.  I do feel at times that I'm shielding Andrew from the responsibility of caring for mom, but he does go out often.  I suppose I must talk to him more about being by mom's side.

I'm sort of writing off Ian, but I will keep peace with him since he did pay some money for rent and Shaunah's car was very useful.  I really need to take a walk.  I feel like getting drunk or seeing a late movie all by myself.  Maybe I'll dash out to see Catching Fire, lol.

Oh, Lord, help me!  I just want be happy again and to not grieve over anything.  I know that that's practically impossible, but please, help me God to see light at the end of the tunnel of despair.  Amen.

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