Am I a momma's boy?
Considering my great lengths to care for my mother, I must say... YES! LOL.
Is it so bad? Hmm... part of me wishes that It were not true. But, I feel like I haven't been able to defy this characterization since I'm my mother's eldest son. She has doted upon me a lot, maybe more than on Andrew. I suppose this is because I really only had one parent while I grew up, despite the presence of my stepfather.
I regret feeling... TOO close to my mother, but I'm not entirely confident in Andrew and Carlyle's abilities to care for her. Hm... but when I begin to work, mom will have to take her pills herself. She does need help with other things, but sometimes I think she's mostly fine as she is.
I have these ideas in my head after seeing an episode of Tyler Perry's "Love Thy Neighbor" on the OWN Network. The son of one female character interacts with her and they're adorable, but a bit too sweet with each other considering the son is in his early to mid 20s. That made me think that I'm a bit too close to my mom. I don't think I fit the "Momma's boy" profile to the last letter, but I have definitely been rearranging my life in order to fulfill my mother's needs and to help my family to keep our house. All of which I have hated and I have despised my mother for not thinking of the future of the house and not being prepared with a cushion of money to help pay the mortgage if something bad happened.
I am trying not to lose it and just give up, but sometimes I just want to disappear and not worry about my mom. I do at times feel a bit strange with my mom, ushering her about as though she's 90--her traumatic brain injury--is really doing a toll on her mental and physical capacities. I find it annoying and sad, but honestly I find it all funny at times even though it is a minor tragedy. I rue the day of that fateful car accident. The undo stress that my mom normally put upon herself really did a number on her. In a way she received her just desserts, but others are also culpable, and I wonder if and when they shall be punished? Perhaps they have been punished already or shall be soon? I hope that they are haunted by my mother's current state. Well, I will leave that alone, for vengeance is the Lord's and He deals out his wrath swiftly.
Well, barring external influences, I will try to stay true to my mom. Our family has been turn up for years now and we're going through some of the results of the evil that has pervaded amongst us during that time.
I pray for God's deliverance and for patience to tame my soul when I need it. I also pray for the Librarian job with Express Jet. I want to be hired for it.
I had an interview with Target today and it went well. I'll need to wait to see if I'm hired.
I have another interview tomorrow for Birney Elementary School to be a Lunchroom Monitor. The school is so close to the house that I can just take bus 15 to get there. That would be very ideal in terms of commute time, but I know that the Librarian position with Express Jet would build up my career better.
I was formally offered the Library Aide job in Folkston, Georgia. I declined it ultimately. I felt ... only mildly relieved, but I wish that the job were in metro Atlanta. That would have been more helpful for me.
I will take a walk to think about things. I didn't anticipate staying home for long, but I guess staying is better. I'm too eager to arrive to the future, and I'm learning to appreciate the present at home, in Georgia, lol. I'm still wondering if I should try to be a Media Specialist in a public school? The pay and the benefits would be good. I'm still waiting on the Foreign Service. I pray that I am seen for an oral assessment.
Well, may God be with me and may I always hold strong to my dreams and never give them up no matter what difficult situation arises to deter me from my destiny. Amen.
To God be the glory,
Aaron
Considering my great lengths to care for my mother, I must say... YES! LOL.
Is it so bad? Hmm... part of me wishes that It were not true. But, I feel like I haven't been able to defy this characterization since I'm my mother's eldest son. She has doted upon me a lot, maybe more than on Andrew. I suppose this is because I really only had one parent while I grew up, despite the presence of my stepfather.
I regret feeling... TOO close to my mother, but I'm not entirely confident in Andrew and Carlyle's abilities to care for her. Hm... but when I begin to work, mom will have to take her pills herself. She does need help with other things, but sometimes I think she's mostly fine as she is.
I have these ideas in my head after seeing an episode of Tyler Perry's "Love Thy Neighbor" on the OWN Network. The son of one female character interacts with her and they're adorable, but a bit too sweet with each other considering the son is in his early to mid 20s. That made me think that I'm a bit too close to my mom. I don't think I fit the "Momma's boy" profile to the last letter, but I have definitely been rearranging my life in order to fulfill my mother's needs and to help my family to keep our house. All of which I have hated and I have despised my mother for not thinking of the future of the house and not being prepared with a cushion of money to help pay the mortgage if something bad happened.
I am trying not to lose it and just give up, but sometimes I just want to disappear and not worry about my mom. I do at times feel a bit strange with my mom, ushering her about as though she's 90--her traumatic brain injury--is really doing a toll on her mental and physical capacities. I find it annoying and sad, but honestly I find it all funny at times even though it is a minor tragedy. I rue the day of that fateful car accident. The undo stress that my mom normally put upon herself really did a number on her. In a way she received her just desserts, but others are also culpable, and I wonder if and when they shall be punished? Perhaps they have been punished already or shall be soon? I hope that they are haunted by my mother's current state. Well, I will leave that alone, for vengeance is the Lord's and He deals out his wrath swiftly.
Well, barring external influences, I will try to stay true to my mom. Our family has been turn up for years now and we're going through some of the results of the evil that has pervaded amongst us during that time.
I pray for God's deliverance and for patience to tame my soul when I need it. I also pray for the Librarian job with Express Jet. I want to be hired for it.
I had an interview with Target today and it went well. I'll need to wait to see if I'm hired.
I have another interview tomorrow for Birney Elementary School to be a Lunchroom Monitor. The school is so close to the house that I can just take bus 15 to get there. That would be very ideal in terms of commute time, but I know that the Librarian position with Express Jet would build up my career better.
I was formally offered the Library Aide job in Folkston, Georgia. I declined it ultimately. I felt ... only mildly relieved, but I wish that the job were in metro Atlanta. That would have been more helpful for me.
I will take a walk to think about things. I didn't anticipate staying home for long, but I guess staying is better. I'm too eager to arrive to the future, and I'm learning to appreciate the present at home, in Georgia, lol. I'm still wondering if I should try to be a Media Specialist in a public school? The pay and the benefits would be good. I'm still waiting on the Foreign Service. I pray that I am seen for an oral assessment.
Well, may God be with me and may I always hold strong to my dreams and never give them up no matter what difficult situation arises to deter me from my destiny. Amen.
To God be the glory,
Aaron
Keep trusting God. He will direct your path. I have the same worries my friend. Spend time with your mother and don't worry about what it looks like to others. I wish I could have one more day with my dad.
ReplyDeleteGood luck on your job hunt also.
Thanks, Stephanie. I'm happy to keep my mother company, but I do want her to be well enough to work and function socially.
DeleteI was turned down for a position with Target. I'm still banking on a job with Express Jet. I really hope that I get hired. I'll continue to pray that I get it.
I was officially offered a position at a prison in Folkston, GA, but... I prefer to stay in metro Atlanta for work. I wonder if I made a mistake, but I just have to keep with my choice.