I think I have to stop running away from the U.S. Why am I so attracted to leaving this country? I don't know... I guess I feel that I grow while living in other countries, whereas in the U.S. I sort of reject whatever growth I can go through here.
Why is that?
I don't know... I'm just very drawn to living in other countries and having new experiences. Another good question is.. why am I so reluctant to teach full time? I don't really like teaching, lol. That's the bottom line. I just want to be a quiet worker, such as a librarian or an archivist. I hope that I will find a full time job or one that pays me sufficiently in one of those roles or something related.
I just found some interesting information professional positions in Washington, D.C. I lost my motivation to apply for work outside of metro Atlanta, because I'm trying to help mom to get better, but I'm losing my "mojo", my "juice" for exploring potential career options.
Perhaps all that I really need is a full time job in the U.S. as a librarian or something related. I keep on trying to foresee a future, and it's difficult. I feel that I cannot commit myself any longer to my true dreams of travel and adventure, and substituting that for long term career in the U.S. doesn't feel like enough. I'm still in my twenties so I want freedom for myself and I yearn to be free everyday. But, I think that God is trying to tell me something... what is it? Be responsible to mom and don't ignore your family. URGH! I do love them, but I feel... slowed down by them? Is that it? I don't know... Is that wrong to say? My dreams don't really align with incorporating my family with them? Is that what I'm learning? Urgh... this is difficult or not?
Maybe I'm making a bigger deal of all this than it has to be.
I suppose that I should just wait it out and be patient... perhaps the "career" job can wait until later. Perhaps I'm rushing into something that I can wait to acclaim later. This is why I'm never sure of my decisions.
Nothing is clear for me for now. I'm trying to play that proverbial chess game and I can't determine my next move. The easiest thing to do seems to stay in Georgia and be content.
I don't work this week on account of the snow. The metro area was not ready for it so the roads or snowy and icy. No salt nor sand was laid down in advance, thus people have been trapped in schools or on the roads with little recourse. It's a little embarrassing. So much wealth and means yet not enough brains to prepare for three inches of snow. Oh, well, I suppose that metro Atlantans can't be good at everything. I didn't take the snow forecast seriously myself.
I think my most probably future for now is to be a full time librarian and take great vacations around the world as much as I can. I pray that I make that come true. I don't know how mom will develop, but at least she can move her body enough. I have to pray stronger and with greater intention. I get sad and lose confidence FREQUENTLY. It's horrendous at times. I want to change that.
Why is that?
I don't know... I'm just very drawn to living in other countries and having new experiences. Another good question is.. why am I so reluctant to teach full time? I don't really like teaching, lol. That's the bottom line. I just want to be a quiet worker, such as a librarian or an archivist. I hope that I will find a full time job or one that pays me sufficiently in one of those roles or something related.
I just found some interesting information professional positions in Washington, D.C. I lost my motivation to apply for work outside of metro Atlanta, because I'm trying to help mom to get better, but I'm losing my "mojo", my "juice" for exploring potential career options.
Perhaps all that I really need is a full time job in the U.S. as a librarian or something related. I keep on trying to foresee a future, and it's difficult. I feel that I cannot commit myself any longer to my true dreams of travel and adventure, and substituting that for long term career in the U.S. doesn't feel like enough. I'm still in my twenties so I want freedom for myself and I yearn to be free everyday. But, I think that God is trying to tell me something... what is it? Be responsible to mom and don't ignore your family. URGH! I do love them, but I feel... slowed down by them? Is that it? I don't know... Is that wrong to say? My dreams don't really align with incorporating my family with them? Is that what I'm learning? Urgh... this is difficult or not?
Maybe I'm making a bigger deal of all this than it has to be.
I suppose that I should just wait it out and be patient... perhaps the "career" job can wait until later. Perhaps I'm rushing into something that I can wait to acclaim later. This is why I'm never sure of my decisions.
Nothing is clear for me for now. I'm trying to play that proverbial chess game and I can't determine my next move. The easiest thing to do seems to stay in Georgia and be content.
I don't work this week on account of the snow. The metro area was not ready for it so the roads or snowy and icy. No salt nor sand was laid down in advance, thus people have been trapped in schools or on the roads with little recourse. It's a little embarrassing. So much wealth and means yet not enough brains to prepare for three inches of snow. Oh, well, I suppose that metro Atlantans can't be good at everything. I didn't take the snow forecast seriously myself.
I think my most probably future for now is to be a full time librarian and take great vacations around the world as much as I can. I pray that I make that come true. I don't know how mom will develop, but at least she can move her body enough. I have to pray stronger and with greater intention. I get sad and lose confidence FREQUENTLY. It's horrendous at times. I want to change that.
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